On ebooks

I was with a couple of friends in the city today and we were looking at this free trust library:

It was very cool. (For those in Melbourne, this is in Melbourne Central kind of near the Converse shop and under the giant clock-ish.)

Anyway, there was this guy who decided to give me a lecture on ebooks there and I was pissed off about it but I have this terrible urge to be polite to ALL the strangers so I’m just going to rant a little bit here because of reasons.

First off, I don’t have a dog so don’t give me this shit about how books can withstand a dog biting them. I’m sorry, sir, but this is a ridiculous point. I have no plans to put my iPhone into a dog’s mouth. Was there any particular reason as to why it had to be a German shepherd?

I also do not have a child, so your point about having a toddler smash my phone does not apply. Also, I’m pretty sure I would be keeping an eye on my child if they were holding something very expensive if they were that young.

I do want to read in the bath, yes. I can take my phone into the bath, it’s really not that hard. I’m not going to drop it. I’ve read plenty of “real” books in the bath and I haven’t dropped any of those.

And my last point, I’m not going to read ebooks on my iPhone, jesus christ, do you take me for a fool? (Although clearly you do, as I am an e-reading heathen who deserves to be shot.) I have a kindle. It uses e-ink in its screen. It may run out battery but it can last for a month, which is pretty impressive.

And, by the way, I purchase a lot of books per year that are not second-hand, from op-shops or bought online. I go into a fucking book shop and buy them because I want to support the industry I am a part of. I buy ebooks, too, because sometimes books are just not available in Australia or the shipping is too expensive.

And buying ebooks helps the industry, too. Did you know that some publishers solely publish ebooks? Shocking! The horror! Won’t somebody think of the children! Are we living in some kind of sick, twisted future in which we read soulless books because of the lack of dead trees? Maybe some publishing houses don’t publish print books because they can’t afford it. And maybe some people don’t buy print books because they can’t afford them.

It doesn’t matter how people read books, it only matters that they do.

Sir, you were impolite. I tried to joke with you but clearly you are a being far superior to I. I’m sure you will pen the next bestseller and go on to revolutionise the world with your vision.


So NaNo is almost here again! How exciting.

This year I completed Camp NaNo in August and wrote 70k (plus 58 words!) and had a ball. I didn’t plan it at all, which is something I now realise I should never ever do because everything goes to shit and I’m left scrambling about for any kind of direction. It was terribly fun, but not something I want to repeat any time soon.

For November’s NaNo I’m going to redraft last year’s NaNo. Which is kind of cheating but I am super hardcore like that, yo.

My story features parallel universes and lesbians! It’s pretty fun to write but there are some spooky things in there. When I write at night time I get too scared to go to the toilet because I will clearly be eaten by DEMONS.

Here’s my profile. We should probably be friends!

I also took the liberty of making a super-terrific cover for this year’s novel. I was thinking maybe desktop publishing could be my back-up career.