The thing that I think is the worst for me is when I try and write something and it’s nothing at all like how I imagined it in my head, and then that feeling is the thing that makes me blocked. I know what I want my words to be like and I’m not there yet.

I want them to be like that feeling when you’re scrunched into a ball and you plunge into water, and everything’s dark and cool and you can’t open your eyes yet but the water is everywhere around you.

I recently read The Sopranos by Alan Warner and I think that his style is something that I want to emulate in my own work for now because I guess that’s the closest thing to what I want my voice to be like but it’s not quite there yet. And it’s super frustrating because I know what I want.

It’s kinda like the Ira Glass video I posted last time. ‘It’s going to take a while. It’s going to take you a while. It’s normal to take a while. You just gotta fight your way through that.’

Just gotta keep on keepin’ on, I guess.